good advice

If they stand behind you, 

Give them protection.

If they stand beside you,

Give them respect.

If they stand in front of you,

Give them no mercy.

Skol

the Swan

It's been a week since our kitty was put to rest.
I suddenly realized that the swan in the pond to the south of our home is gone, too.

I will back up a little bit.
All summer long there has been a lone swan sitting in the small pond to the south of the house.  He was visible every time I looked out the window.  Ever since the kitty has been gone, so has the swan.
I remember hearing the swan leave, but I didn't look up at him, nor do I remember exactly which day it was.  Was the swan a spirit that is guiding to the final resting place?  I don't know.  I am going to believe it is.

Every time I see a swan, I will know it was you, my dear sweet siamese kitty.  Rest in peace and thank you for giving me such happiness.  I hope you enjoyed your beautiful life.

the waiting is over

As I sit here waiting for my kitty's final appointment with the vet, I have such mixed feelings.  He's been quite the cat, he has had adventures and he is very much loved. His snaggle toothing our unsuspecting legs and his begging for treats will be very missed. This home will be very empty when he leaves us this morning.
This morning, he rallied, came upstairs, walked around out on the deck and had a drink of agate water. (even though he knew it was tap water I had added to the agate bucket).  After that, he went back downstairs and is sleeping quietly right now.

The trouble is, he is in discomfort.  If I delay this more, it is only being selfish.  He's trying so hard but everything is an effort and he has dropped lots and lots of weight.  He is unsteady on his feet, it's mostly his back legs and lower back.  Yet, he bravely makes his way up and down the basement stairs, although I can see it is a might effort.

He's been so much to us.  I am going to choose to face this as an act of compassion, which it surely is. I don't think we'll have another cat, for one thing, there is no way to replace this guy.  For another, there is an allergic family member who has put up with my housecats and their messes for over 25 years.  I don't know if I can be without a feline companion.

Rest peacefully, my old friend.  Much love and thanks, always.

Jim, cruising the deck in better days.

When Jim was on walkabout!

Jim's mugshot at the Humane Society, when his name was Victor.

Writing the book on Mischief.

These guys

Fading

None of us is getting any younger. 

The heartbreak of having a beloved pet is determining when they are telling you that they want to be done.  No one I know has ever admitted to letting go too soon, in fact, the tendency is to hold on to our family pet just a little too long.

Still, it is a personal decision between me and my pet. When they falter, struggle, and no longer enjoy their existence, we deal with it with mercy and compassion no matter the cost to the human involved.

If there is still another treat to be enjoyed, still another sunbeam to nap in, still another toy to play with, still a spark for living, then my pets will be allowed to enjoy the time they have left. If that poses an inconvenience to anyone else, too bad.

An elderly pet requires lots more supportive care than a younger pet. (as does any elderly being.) But, I am willing to do that for any of my pets when it becomes necessary. They really don't owe me anything, in truth, I owe them. 

My pets have been steady and faithful.  They forgive me when I am not at my best, which is often.  They give me company and love.  They make me laugh, they help me smile, and yes, sometimes they can irritate me.  I am sure I irritate them, as well.  More than anything they are important companions and live on in our hearts even when they are gone.

So, until the time comes, we'll just take it slow and savor the happy times. 

Nesting on the Ground

Last evening, I had the rare privilege to come across a woodcock or timber doodle nest.  The mom flushed off the nest in the deep grass when I got too close.

What is more vulnerable than nesting on ground?  I have been thinking of this all day.  Is it vulnerability or is it just trust?  Maybe it's hope? Bravery?  Or is it just the way nature is.  The ground birds are just playing the hand that nature has dealt them.

Besides the Woodcock,Ducks, Pheasants, Grouse, Meadowlarks, Killdeer, Quail, Geese, Sand hill Cranes are just a few of the ground nesting birds I can think of.

Shortly after pondering this, I went outside to take the dog out.  There was a doe that was hesitant to leave the area, in spite of the dog barking wildly.  Two more steps revealed a tiny baby fawn curled in the grass.  I brought the dog in and got my camera.  What a delicate, beautiful little baby!  The little guy noticed me and he stoop up.  He finally decided to toodle away after i tickled his tiny chin.
Later, I observed the doe return a couple of times to the place she had left him.  Soon, she looked off to the East, and there he was, calling her and making his way back to her.  It was a happy reunion.

Another little helpless baby on the ground.  It makes me respect all the mommas out there in the wild.  They raise those lil babies with so many threats

have some FUN

Today is the hottest day in the world.  I never remember it being this hot.  But, still, it is much better than winter.

As part of my quest to move on, I signed up for some watercolor classes.  The first class was Friday, July 12 and today, the 19th was the last class.
I left disappointed after the first class, but did my homework and attended the second class.  There are lots of possibilities and this "medium" is exciting to me.  I hope to keep working and learning.  Meanwhile...here are the early works.  The first two do not thrill me, but I am noticing progress, which DOES thrill me!

And finally, the one piece of homework that I was very happy with:

Today's (Friday)

THEN, on SATURDAY, I did the following painting, which i really like:

All I Ever Wanted--a poem to my boys

all
i
ever
wanted
was to be your
mom

all
i
ever
wanted
was for you to be
happy

if
you
remember me
from
time
to
time
that
would
be nice
too