To My Good and Faithful Old Pets

The Last Battle

If it should be that I grow frail and weak
And pain should keep me from my sleep,
... Then will you do what must be done,
For this -- the last battle -- can't be won.
You will be sad I understand,
But don't let grief then stay your hand,
For on this day, more than the rest,
Your love and friendship must stand the test.
We have had so many happy years,
You wouldn't want me to suffer so.
When the time comes, please, let me go.
Take me to where to my needs they'll tend,
Only, stay with me till the end
And hold me firm and speak to me
Until my eyes no longer see.
I know in time you will agree
It is a kindness you do to me.
Although my tail its last has waved,
From pain and suffering I have been saved.
Don't grieve that it must be you
Who has to decide this thing to do;
We've been so close -- we two -- these years,
Don't let your heart hold any tears.

GMGP

Saying good bye.

Personally, I do not say good bye until I know it's the last time I will see someone.  Usually, it's "See you later" or some phrase like that.  To me, good bye implies such finality.

But yesterday, it was indeed Good Bye.

Good bye to my husband's dad.  He was finally able to be at peace after the last unpleasant months of his life.  He was fading away with dementia  The family had to move him to a Memory Care living place in May of 2015.  It was really a fancy nursing home, I guess. 

We were called last Sunday, Jan 24, because Hospice Care had determined the end was near.  On Thursday, Jan 28, he passed away.  He was released from his pain and confusion at last.

So good bye, my dear father-in-law.  May peace finally be with you.
God speed, GMGP.

There's a last time for everything.

There is a poem I read a while back.  Then there was the song.
There's a last time for everything.

The point is that most of the time YOU DON'T KNOW its the last time.
Let that sink in a while.  

Yesterday was a last time.  It was one of those times that one could have known, but could not be sure.  It was the NCAA Midwest Wrestling competition.  This is the one that determined if my oldest son was going to be able to fulfill his long time goal of competing at Nationals in Cleveland, Ohio. He is a senior this year and this has long been one of his goals. His wrestling career was winding down and it would all be determined this day.

It was a promise by my husband, that he would travel to Cleveland if Joe were to compete there.  

After a tough day of competition, it was not to be.   Our son lost 2 matches and won 1.  He would not be moving on to the next day of competition.  

This kid has guts and drive.  To see him lose that final match tore out my heart.  I could see he was beyond disappointed as he left the mat.

And, just like that.  It was the last time.  The last time watching him grapple, the last time being a spectator all day long in a too hot or too cold gymnasium with terribly uncomfortable seating. The last day hearing him called to be on deck.  The last time watching him lose or be victorious in this sport that he has worked at with such heart and grit.

 I saw him in the hall afterwards.  It was obvious that he had taken quite a while to collect himself.  And we had a nice big hug.  I let him go into the gym to see his dad and his 2 very good friends from high school.  When I finally went in there, he was leaning on his good friend and the three of them were visiting. I am sure that the friends were just the comfort he needed.  We left and he remained sitting with his buddies and I knew he was going to shake it off and be just fine.  It was really good to see those guys, who traveled a long way to watch, wait to see him after the matches.  

The new "first time" happened after his first match, he came to me with his phone and showed me the email.  He was indeed invited for an interview at Graduate school. He looked so excited and so relieved.  The application to PT grad school is grueling, not as grueling as wrestling, but there are so many requirements to fulfill.  The process started last spring.  So, there.  That was a first in the middle of the many firsts now on this cold, sunny day in Minneapolis.

College graduation this spring!  And on to a lifetime of new first times and last times!